24kt
by Fat Sassy Bride
Summary: Claire finds herself facing an angry mob of villagers when she's the subject of an unfortunate prank!


24kt

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Claire Iphai smoothed the visible wrinkles out of the folded shirt in her lap, setting it with the rest of the laundry. Whew! Another load was tumbling in the dryer, and then that would be it for the night. She could kick back, take in a beer, and watch some competitive snowboarding to cap off a peaceful December evening.

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In the meantime, I'll fix up something to eat, Claire thought, putting the stack of shirts in her dresser and heading for the kitchen.

The humble little two-room cottage in which Claire lived had been one of the biggest drawing points in her decision to move to sleepy, humble Mineral Town - and she hadn't even minded the condition that as long as she was leasing the cottage, she would tend to the farm to which it belonged. Of course, Mineral Town had other advantages - gorgeous scenery, peace and quiet, friendly townsfolk, and some of the most divine food Claire had ever tasted.

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Definitely better than the city, she thought with a smile as the microwave beeped, letting her know that the leftover beef casserole was done.

Claire had decided, as she spent more and more time in Mineral Town and got to know the residents better, that she would stick to just growing crops - it just didn't seem right to be raising cows and chickens while meat remained such a large part of her diet. She chewed thoughtfully, wondering how Barley managed to raise cows without feeling odd about treating himself to the occasional steak...

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No big deal, she thought with a shrug as she wiped her mouth and belched. His business was his business - Claire got along just fine with him, and the others, without the need to pry. That was another thing Claire enjoyed about Mineral Town - aside from the occasional bit of gossip, the residents mostly minded their own business, and never really judged each other. It was, she felt, unusual for such a small, rural town, but certainly nothing to complain about.

Later that night, as Claire slipped on her nightgown and slid into bed, she drifted off on thoughts of how lucky she was...

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"Hee hee hee hee hee... nothing like a bit of mischief to stir things up!"

The devious creature planted the seeds of the glorious prank, and surveyed the set-up with immense satisfaction and anticipation. Ah, but what was living without a bit of drama to keep things lively?

Now, back into hiding to watch and wait... oh, this would be excellent! Most excellent!

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"Disgusting! Absolutely disgusting!"

"I say we cut off her head! Who's with me?!"

"Let's _rape_ her!"

"Great idea, Stu!"

"Even better-"

Claire stirred, opening her eyes slowly to squint into the darkness. What was that odd _noise_ outside? It sounded... angry. Had something upset the villagers? _I hope they can resolve it somewhere else_, she thought, stretching and yawning loudly. _It's too early for this..._

As she opened her eyes a bit wider, she noticed an unusual glow filtering through her windows - firelight? No... it was... _gold_?

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What's doing_ that?_ Scratching her head, she shielded her eyes and looked out the window.

Many of the villagers were swarming around a strange, golden shape - it looked almost like a post, planted in the ground right at the edge of her field. Manna kicked it. Doug simply glared at it, eyes blazing with fury. Gotz held his axe in one hand, smacking the flat side of the blade against the other. Lillia buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

"That _gaudy whore_," Mayor Thomas snarled, his bulbous red nose seeming to swell as his nostrils flared. "How dare she!"

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Oh, dear! Claire thought, gasping, her hand flying to her mouth in shock. Was it that strange piece of lumber? What a misunderstanding! The best thing to do was clear this up immediately, she decided. Her legs shaking, she stepped out into the cold, clear night.

Silence suddenly snapped across the air, as if a plug had been pulled. Blazing eyes, burning with the reflections of angry torches, locked onto her. In them, Clair saw rage... hatred... _loathing... _the thirst for her blood...

"I... I can explain!" Claire choked out, her voice strained with terror.

"You _lying cunt!_" Stu screamed. An assenting clamor followed.

Claire opened her mouth to protest, but an odd thumping noise and a sharp pain in her throat ripped her words away into the wind, never to be heard. Her eyes widening, her body tossed against the side of her house by the force, she felt blood pouring down her neck, over her chest... Gotz had thrown his axe at her. It had almost completely cut through her throat.

Tears streamed down Claire's helpless face as she lay there, pinned to her house, dying slowly as the villagers advanced within her darkening field of vision. An excruciating stab of pain in her lower regions told her that the golden post had been rammed into her vagina, ripping it open and ruining it for everyone. A crackling noise that she could barely hear anymore told her that they'd lit the post with their torches... and her... her hair...! Her hair was on fire! They were burning her like a witch!

A large, beefy fist punched right through her face. Her brains splattered on the ground and one eye popped out and flew a few feet before rolling to a sticky stop at the feet of Anna, who stomped it into jelly.

Claire hadn't made the wisest move in coming to Mineral Town.


End file.
